See the Blossoms, Seek Jesus (Part 1)
Are you facing a difficult decision? Feel confused, exhausted, hopeless or overwhelmed? Question yourself, your motives, your calling? Desire to be in the ‘will of God’?
What does it mean to be in the ‘will of God’?
Lately, I have asked myself this question, after feeling overwhelmed. I have a decision to make. I’m not sure what that decision will be yet, but I know it needs to be the ‘right’ one.
The ‘right’ decision for God, for my family, for others, for myself. I pray earnestly, search deeply, ask around for advice, research, weigh up the pros and cons, look at the cost, question my motives, and still struggle to trust my conclusions. Making the ‘right’ decision is important to me.
Recently, I went to bed feeling quite distressed. The pressure to make this decision had been weighing on me. Trying to focus on my daily responsibilities, while listening to my dad discuss his opinions on world tragedies had left me feeling completely unsettled.
I closed my eyes and whispered a prayer for help. I wanted my mind to settle and for my emotions to quieten.
To my surprise, I felt God gently whisper back “notice the darkness.”
Photograph by Michaela Böhm (Římáková)
My eyes still closed, I took a moment to notice the thoughts I had around the heaviness of dysfunction in our world. I considered the decision that lay before me, and the possible impact my choices would have, both on me and those around me, depending on what I decide to do. I reflected on the pain of my own indecision. God didn’t ask me to downplay what I was feeling about the world nor diminish the reality that making wise choices can be pretty difficult. I did, however, have an understanding that, no matter my decision, I’d be unable to fix the world and its vast array of problems.
As I continued to ponder, I felt God invite me to look up and out, and in my mind’s eye, I saw an outline of an almond tree standing as if in winter. A thought came: “see the blossoms and seek me.” As I focused my attention on the tree, its form changed and became more vivid, as I watched pink blossoms develop and the tree bloom. I sensed hope. That for now, while I live in a world tainted by sin, it’s important to notice evil for what it is and acknowledge the discomfort I feel, but ultimately, look to God.
The more I focussed on God, the more He encouraged me to trust Him. The more I allowed myself to trust Him, the more almond trees revealed themselves, until I found myself looking out at an orchard.
I felt God provide rest and peace in that orchard and remembered a scripture that says: “Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.” Psalm 37:3-4 NIV
I realised that challenging circumstances and hard choices do not change God’s sovereignty nor the calling He has on my life. That He sees me and offers help. That He will guide me, lead me, equip me, develop me, grow me and love on me, no matter the decision I chose to make. That He offers free choice as a gift and is interested in what I too would like to do in service for Him. That there is no ‘right’ decision, in the way that I had perceived it - a hidden decision that I need to discover to remain within God’s will. That ‘being in His will’ is more about where I am looking and who I am seeking, than losing myself in stress, searching for a ‘right’ decision in ‘what I must do’.
To look to Him, while He is lovingly looking straight back at me, and choose to take the time to talk together and deepen our relationship, is where the beauty and security exists and I can bear much fruit – “If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask whatever you wish, and it will be done for you. This is to my Father’s glory, that you bear much fruit, showing yourselves to be my disciples.” John 15:7-8 NIV
Looking to Him is the key. I don’t need to be paralysed with fear, distress and indecision, trying to find a hidden perfect choice. He invites me to see a true perspective of the world around me and hears me when I pray for help in personal decision-making. I can trust Him and allow Him to shape me. I can come to Him in a place of surrender and service. He does not dictate to me, but rather offers Himself as a place of hope, rest, and peace, where I can lean on Him for wisdom and exercise the gift of free choice. He cares about my desires and interests. The things I find fulfilling and refuelling. The things that bring me joy. I can have confidence, that the deeper my relationship is with Him, the deeper my wants align with the things that He already desires to provide.
Perhaps the concept of being ‘in His will’ is simpler than I realised.
Notice the Darkness.
See the Blossoms.
Seek Jesus.
